-The 40th China Shaanxi and Japan Kyoto Joint Exhibition of Calligraphy and Painting- opens

On October 13th, the curtains rose on the 40th China Shaanxi-Japan Kyoto Calligraphy and Painting Exhibi

On October 13th, the curtains rose on the 40th China Shaanxi-Japan Kyoto Calligraphy and Painting Exhibition and the 9th China-Japan Student Calligraphy Exhibition in Xi’an.

Since officially becoming sister provinces in July 1983, Shaanxi Province and Kyoto Prefecture have hosted the annual “China Shaanxi-Japan Kyoto Calligraphy and Painting Exhibition” beginning in 1984. This long-standing tradition, now in its 40th year, has been pivotal in enhancing cultural and artistic exchanges between the two regions.

Starting in 2015, the “China-Japan Student Calligraphy Exhibition” was introduced, aimed at nurturing young talent in calligraphy and painting while fostering cultural exchanges among students from both countries. This initiative has had a profound and lasting impact on enhancing cultural and artistic collaboration between China and Japan.

The current exhibition features over 200 works of calligraphy and Chinese painting from artists associated with the Shaanxi National Painting Academy, the Shaanxi Calligraphy Institute, and the Kyoto Calligraphy Institute, in addition to nearly 100 works from young artists. The displayed pieces showcase a vibrant array of styles and perspectives, reflecting the optimistic and proactive spirit of both nations as they strive for a better life. Moreover, the exhibition highlights both parties’ commitment to promoting traditional Eastern culture while exploring and innovating within artistic creation.

This event is part of the 10th Silk Road International Arts Festival and will run until October 19th.

Check yourself quickly! If you have these symptoms after waking up in the morning, your blood lipids may be high.

According to the “China Lipid Management Guidelines (2023),” the prevalence of lipid abnormalities among adults in our country is as high as 35.6%.

According to the “China Lipid Management Guidelines (2023),” the prevalence of lipid abnormalities among adults in our country is as high as 35.6%.

So, is experiencing numbness in your hands and feet upon waking a sign of lipid abnormalities? What other symptoms might indicate such issues? And what happens if your lipid levels remain stubbornly high? How can we stabilize our lipid levels? Let’s delve deeper.

**Morning Numbness: A Possible Indicator of High Lipids**
After a night of sleep, we expect to wake up feeling refreshed and energized. However, individuals with high lipid levels may experience lipid deposits in their blood vessel walls, leading to increased blood viscosity. This can result in poor blood circulation, affecting the supply of blood and oxygen to our extremities and organs. Consequently, upon rising, one might feel numbness in the hands and feet, fatigue, dizziness, headaches, shortness of breath, or palpitations.

**Additional Symptoms of Lipid Abnormalities**
Apart from the morning numbness, those with lipid issues may also notice the following:
1. **Vision Changes**: Sudden blurriness, decreased vision, a white ring around the cornea, or the appearance of yellow lumps on the eyelids.
2. **Yellow Nodules**: Yellow or orange-red nodules or patches may develop on areas like the back of the hands, joints, or buttocks, or you may see yellow stripes on the palms.
3. **Leg Cramps**: Frequent leg cramps or tingling that don’t improve with rest or calcium supplements could signal elevated lipids.

**Key Indicators of Lipid Abnormalities**
To assess lipid levels, four key indicators should be monitored:
– Total Cholesterol (TC): Normal range is 3mmol/L to 5.2mmol/L
– Triglycerides (TG): Normal range is 0 to 1.7mmol/L
– High-Density Lipoprotein Cholesterol (HDL-C): Normal range is 0.9mmol/L to 2mmol/L
– Low-Density Lipoprotein Cholesterol (LDL-C): Normal range is 0 to 3.4mmol/L

If one or more of these values are abnormal, it indicates a lipid imbalance. Notably, HDL-C, also known as “good cholesterol,” if within normal or slightly elevated limits, helps prevent plaque formation.

**Consequences of Poor Lipid Control**
What happens if lipid levels continue to rise?
1. **Thrombosis**: Persistently high lipids increase blood viscosity, making it easier for plaque to form. If these plaques rupture, they can lead to dangerous blood clots that pose serious health risks.
2. **Kidney Problems**: Inadequate blood supply to the kidneys due to high lipid levels can increase their burden, potentially leading to serious kidney disease over time.
3. **Worsening Diabetes Complications**: Those with diabetes may face heightened risks of complications when their lipids are elevated.

**Four Steps to Stabilize Your Lipid Levels**
1. **Diet Control**: Individuals with lipid issues should adhere to a “three low” diet—low salt, low sugar, and low fat—while managing starchy foods and limiting drinks. Consuming excess starch can convert to sugar in the body, hampering lipid control. Increasing fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and fiber while reducing dietary cholesterol is essential, targeting less than 300 mg of cholesterol daily, especially for high-risk groups.

2. **Regular Exercise**: Engage in moderate-intensity aerobic exercise for at least 150-300 minutes weekly—activities like jogging, brisk walking, or cycling are beneficial. Incorporating resistance training can also help. Those with cardiovascular issues should consult their physician before exercising.

3. **Avoid Smoking and Limit Alcohol**: Quitting smoking and avoiding secondhand smoke contribute to preventing vascular diseases and elevate HDL levels. Excessive drinking can disrupt fat metabolism, raising blood lipid levels. It’s advisable to avoid alcohol or limit it to less than 100 grams per week.

4. **Medication Assistance**: If lifestyle changes don’t yield improvements, doctors may prescribe medications that inhibit intestinal cholesterol absorption. Typically, noticeable effects occur within a week of starting treatment, with follow-up testing after a month to assess lipid control.

**Important Reminders**
1. Adults over 40 should have their lipid levels checked every 2-5 years, even if asymptomatic.
2. Individuals with atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease or those at high risk should be tested every 3-6 months.

**(CCTV Life Circle)**

2024 Fujian and Taiwan Craftsmen Ingenuity Exchange Event kicks off in Fuzhou

On October 20, the “Craftsmanship and Unity: Cross-Strait Artisan Exchange Event 2024” kicked off in Fuzhou, attracting around 200 guests fro

On October 20, the “Craftsmanship and Unity: Cross-Strait Artisan Exchange Event 2024” kicked off in Fuzhou, attracting around 200 guests from both sides of the Taiwan Strait. Participants included representatives from various industries in mainland China, industry experts and scholars, vocational school students, as well as representatives from different sectors in Taiwan.

Among the attendees was Taiwanese student Hsieh Chien-Huang, who participated in the traditional apprenticeship ceremony. He stated that the use of ancient apprenticeship rituals highlights the importance of skill inheritance, while also offering him a new perspective on vocational education.

“In the modernization of the Chinese nation, theoretical advancements have reached a certain level. It is essential to put theories into practice, making vocational skills education increasingly important,” Hsieh remarked. Invited to the event, he felt he gained “immensely,” experiencing diverse aspects of education, such as fashion design, floral art, tea ceremony, and pet grooming.

As a doctoral student at Jinan University, Hsieh expressed his desire to connect with vocational education experts and teachers from both sides in the future, not only as a personal interest but also as a potential career pathway.

Taiwanese culinary decoration artist Lai Lung-Chu, who has 29 years of industry experience, was honored with the title “Famous Artisan of Min and Taiwan.” He showcased his “Fish Transformation Dragon” culinary sculpture, which features distinct Eastern characteristics.

In an interview, Lai noted that during his exchanges with peers from the mainland, he was impressed by the exquisite and lifelike carving techniques utilized there. He acknowledged that both sides share a common pursuit of excellence but pointed out that in Taiwan, there tends to be a greater emphasis on creativity. He hopes that the future partnerships between the precision of mainland craftsmanship and the creativity found in Taiwan will foster more opportunities for collaboration.

At the event, Fujian Agricultural Vocational Technical College, along with the Taiwan Worker Education and Vocational Training Association, unveiled a plaque designating their collaborative partnership. The association’s chairman, Kong Hsiang-Ko, emphasized that culture is fundamental to any nation or ethnicity and must be reflected in daily life aspects. He pointed out that Min and Taiwan artisans are practitioners of cultural spirit in reality.

“Fujian and Taiwan each boast unique cultural characteristics and strengths. The cultural elements underlying these traditions stem from the same source. The works produced by artisans from both sides reveal shared cultural themes and a sense of humanity,” Kong added. He expressed hope that through showcasing artisan achievements, both sides would learn from each other, and that innovative approaches would enhance the quality of life.

In the afternoon, a Cross-Strait Vocational Education Development Forum took place, where experts from both areas engaged in in-depth discussions about the future of collaborative vocational education, providing new ideas and directions for cooperation and growth. The exhibition that accompanied the event focused on the themes of “Hundred Crafts, Hundred Industries” and “Collaborative Development,” showcasing the exquisite traditional techniques as well as the skills learned by young students.

Heilongjiang- 3,508 illegal guns and imitation guns of various types were destroyed

On October 18, the Heilongjiang Provincial Public Security Department launched a province-wide operation themed “Disposal of Firearms and Explos

On October 18, the Heilongjiang Provincial Public Security Department launched a province-wide operation themed “Disposal of Firearms and Explosives to Ensure Public Safety.” This initiative culminated in the destruction of 3,508 illegal firearms and imitation guns that had been confiscated.

In recent years, law enforcement agencies across Heilongjiang have intensified their crackdown on gun-related crimes, carrying out various campaigns, including specialized operations to clear and seize illegal firearms and conduct thorough safety inspections of dangerous goods. Since the beginning of this year, the security departments in the province have apprehended 68 suspects involved in firearm and explosives offenses, confiscating 2,160 illegal and imitation firearms, 50,000 rounds of ammunition, 18.1 kilograms of explosives, and 4,312 detonators.

A representative from the Heilongjiang Public Security Department explained that firearms and controlled devices can be easily exploited by criminal elements to commit serious violent offenses, posing a significant threat to public safety. The provincial police force remains committed to a rigorous “high-pressure crackdown” strategy against weapon and explosive-related crimes, reinforcing their efforts to eliminate gun and explosive hazards, thereby creating a safer environment for economic development and the well-being of the community.

Control -alkali- and increase -food-; science and technology enterprises jointly help Zhaoyuan saline-alkali land turn into fertile farmland

In October, the vibrant landscapes of Heilongjiang come to life with the changing seasons. During a recent production assessment event held in Zhenyu

In October, the vibrant landscapes of Heilongjiang come to life with the changing seasons. During a recent production assessment event held in Zhenyu Village, Xinzhan Town, Daqing City, experts evaluated a novel “Three Good Integration” model for the effective management and comprehensive utilization of saline-alkaline land, developed by the research team led by Liang Zhengwei from the Northeast Institute of Geography and Agricultural Ecology, Chinese Academy of Sciences. Yang Jinsong, a researcher at the Nanjing Institute of Soil Research, served as the head of the production assessment expert group and shared the compelling results.

In a region known for its extensive saline-alkaline areas, Heilongjiang’s ecosystems are situated in one of the world’s largest distributions of such land, with nearly 14 million acres identified, of which around 12 million acres remain unutilized. The ongoing global food security crisis underscores the critical role of securing food supplies for maintaining social stability in China. Effectively using saline-alkaline land is seen as a vital channel for expanding, improving, and increasing arable land, positioning it as a potential grain reserve and a strategic backup for agricultural resources. Thus, comprehensive redevelopment of saline-alkaline lands is deemed essential for stabilizing grain production and ensuring national food security.

This production assessment event was jointly organized by the Northeast Institute of Geography and Agricultural Ecology and Heilongjiang Chenxing Construction Development Co., Ltd.

At the site, experts measured plots, calculated areas, harvested rice, weighed it, and assessed water content. The results were impressive: in heavily sodic saline-alkaline fields with a pH of 10.00 and an EC of 0.60 mS/cm, the application of various soil improvement techniques—including phosphogypsum treatment, deep side fertilization, microbial agents, dense planting, and irrigation—resulted in rice yields exceeding 400 kilograms per acre for the Dongdao 122 and Tongze 861 varieties in their first year. In stark contrast, an untreated control plot yielded only 3.02 kilograms per acre.

Zhaoyuan County, in southwestern Heilongjiang, has several saline-alkaline areas. Wang Lizhi, the Party Secretary of Xinzhan Town, expressed his appreciation for the efforts of frontline workers and researchers, stating, “I visit every two weeks to monitor the growth of the rice. The output here is truly exceptional for our town.”

The comprehensive land remediation project in Zhenyu Village covers about 4,800 acres of saline-alkaline land, leading to the formation of approximately 3,676 acres of arable land. Xu Qingquan, a representative of Heilongjiang Chenxing Construction Development Co., Ltd., remarked that the company successfully invested in a project to enhance rural revitalization capabilities in September 2023, including plans to transform 14,268.70 acres of saline-alkaline land. The production assessment plot is part of one of their sub-projects, marking Heilongjiang’s first achievement of “project initiation, transformation, and yield achievement all in the same year.”

The comprehensive efforts are directed by the Northeast Institute of Geography and Agricultural Ecology, focusing on “improving the land, selecting the right seeds, and utilizing the best methods” to sustainably enhance soil quality, boost rice production, and significantly increase overall benefits. This initiative not only aims to contribute to national food security but also aims to enhance local residents’ income and improve ecological conditions, taking rural revitalization to new heights.

(CIIE Story) Taking the CIIE Express, the “suitcase” continues to expand

At the recent China International Import Expo (CIIE) in Shanghai, we had the chance to speak with Jin F

At the recent China International Import Expo (CIIE) in Shanghai, we had the chance to speak with Jin Fangqian, the Vice President and General Manager of Gilead Sciences China, about the company’s journey and ambitions in the region.

As Gilead Sciences prepares for its third appearance at the expo in 2024, it’s clear that their presence has grown significantly. “From our initial participation, our booth size increased fivefold this year, and we’ve dedicated twice as much space to showcasing innovative products,” Jin shared. “We’ve even created a dedicated area for our research pipeline to highlight our ongoing clinical studies and new product launches in China.”

Gilead’s commitment to the Chinese market is evident, with 11 of its leading drugs now approved in the country since they began operations here in 2017, and 8 of those included in the national medical insurance catalog. “China is one of our three major strategic markets globally, and attending the CIIE has truly allowed us to witness the impressive speed at which innovations can reach patients here,” Jin noted.

He referred to the innovative drugs that have launched thanks to the expo, affectionately calling them “CIIE babies.” For instance, after participating in the 2022 expo, Gilead introduced two new drugs in the antifungal and oncology fields. “The antifungal drug, Adefovir dipivoxil, received market approval just three months post-expo—this is a great example of the expedited access that can happen in China,” Jin explained.

Looking ahead, Gilead is eager to showcase its latest breakthrough, the long-acting HIV medication Lenacapavir, which generated substantial interest at the 2023 expo. “The CIIE has become an important accelerator for the launch of innovative drugs, helping to streamline the process significantly,” Jin emphasized.

Gilead also views the expo as a chance to broaden its medical collaboration ecosystem. In previous years, it has initiated projects like the hepatitis C case management program with the China STD/AIDS Foundation and signed cooperation agreements to promote HIV treatment through collaboration with local health organizations.

“We’re committed to expanding our network within the healthcare ecosystem in China,” Jin stated. “Our partnerships illustrate the win-win relationships we aim to build.”

Amidst the growing opportunities in the Chinese market, Gilead is prioritizing local research and development. “The CIIE has shown us the platform’s potential to convert showcased products into marketable items. We recognize China’s ambition to share development opportunities globally, and this reinforces our determination to deepen our presence and invest in local medical innovation,” Jin declared.

With a focus on patient-centered outcomes, Gilead is launching clinical research projects in sync with global timelines, particularly in oncology and virology. “Our goal is to ensure that innovative therapies reach patients promptly in China,” Jin concluded, highlighting the company’s commitment to overcoming barriers to accessibility and enhancing local research capabilities for the benefit of patients.

‘They don’t just fall out of trees’- Nobel awards highlight Britain’s AI pedigree

Recognition for Demis Hassabis and Geoffrey Hinton marks moment when important ingredients came togetherIa

Recognition for Demis Hassabis and Geoffrey Hinton marks moment when important ingredients came together
Ian Sample and Dan MilmoFri 11 Oct 2024 08.22 EDTLast modified on Fri 11 Oct 2024 09.44 EDTShareIt was more than even the most ardent advocates expected. After all the demonstrations of superhuman prowess, and the debates over whether the technology was humanity’s best invention yet or its surest route to self-destruction, artificial intelligence landed a Nobel prize this week. And then it landed another.
First came the physics prize. The American John Hopfield and the British-Canadian Geoffrey Hinton won for foundational work on artificial neural networks, the computational architecture that underpins modern AI such as ChatGPT. Then came the chemistry prize, with half handed to Demis Hassabis and John Jumper at Google DeepMind. Their AlphaFold program solved a decades-long scientific challenge by predicting the structure of all life’s proteins.
That artificial intelligence won two Nobels in as many days is one thing. That both honoured British researchers in a field previously ignored by the Nobels is another. Both Hinton and Hassabis were born in London, albeit nearly three decades apart. The watershed moment raises an obvious question: where did it all go right? And more importantly, will it go wrong?
Experts in the field do not credit any particular moment, any particular decision, that ensured Britain’s pedigree in artificial intelligence – a technology that can be loosely defined as computer systems performing tasks that typically require human intelligence. But there were important ingredients that came together and set the stage for what happened in Stockholm this week.
Man looks at camera with hands clasped on spiral stair with molecular model behindView image in fullscreenDemis Hassabis shared the Nobel prize in chemistry for work on the AlphaFold program that solved a decades-long scientific challenge. Photograph: Toby Melville/ReutersThe foundations were shaped over centuries. The UK was a serious player in statistics, logic, mathematics and engineering – think Thomas Bayes, George Boole, Charles Babbage, Ada Lovelace – long before Alan Turing asked: “Can machines think?” As computers became an established technology, expertise flourished at a handful of centres.
“The UK has for a long time been a leader in computing science and in AI,” says Dame Muffy Calder, vice-principal and head of the college of science and engineering at the University of Glasgow. “We’ve led for years and years and I put that down in part to the funding environment that we’ve had in the past that recognised so-called discovery-led research.”
Unlike research that focuses on cracking a well-defined problem, the research Calder refers to is more speculative. Both AI and quantum technologies have benefited from such work, Calder says, some after decades of support. “That’s the message. You’ve got to keep funding ideas from the beginning,” she said. “It can’t be all innovation-focused or challenge-focused. The Turing machine? There was no application for the Turing machine when Alan Turing came up with it.”
Maneesh Sahani, professor of theoretical neuroscience and machine learning, and director of the Gatsby Computational Neuroscience Unit at University College London, highlights how clusters of smart people cropped up across the UK and created a critical mass of expertise.
“Britain as a whole has for a long time punched above its weight and I think that’s still true,” he says. Referring to the machine learning process where instead of being instructed directly, computers “learn” by analysing patterns in data and then making informed decisions, he adds: “But it was really machine learning that the UK got behind very strongly. And that was not because of any central decision. It’s one of those things where good people emerged at a similar time.”
Man gestures while giving talk in front of purple-grid graphicsView image in fullscreenThe British-Canadian Geoffrey Hinton shared the physics Nobel prize for his foundational work on artificial neural networks, which underpins modern AI. Photograph: Johnny Guatto/University of Toronto/ReutersAmong the early key groups to make an impact were Edinburgh, Cambridge and Aston Universities, all of which remain strong today. But the momentum Sahani mentions created further clusters. His unit at UCL is one of them and its history gives a sense of how these nodes attract and propel expertise. The Gatsby Unit was set up by Hinton, who after studying at Cambridge and Edinburgh spent most of his career in Toronto. Sahani returned to the UK for a post at the Gatsby, where Hassabis, who went on to set up DeepMind, did his postdoctoral research.
“The Gatsby was a phenomenal draw,” Sahani says. The funding from the Gatsby foundation, a charity set up by supermarket heir David Sainsbury, allows the scientists to focus on research without the same demands for teaching and grant chasing that occupy academics elsewhere. “It’s like a chain reaction,” Sahani says. “When you’ve got the critical mass, when you’ve got people who are doing exciting things and talking to each other, others want to show up and be part of that.”
AI experienced boom and bust cycles for decades, but the machine learning revolution, driven by multi-layered neural networks crunching massive datasets on processors built for gaming, has galvanised investors. The surge in funding, from companies and nations that cannot risk being left behind, has transformed the landscape, with tech firms, primarily in the US, now dominating AI research.
“It’s difficult, increasingly difficult, to be competitive, and that’s not only with universities in other countries but with industry,” says Sahani. “The UK doesn’t have quite the disproportionate presence that it had 10 or 15 years ago. And that’s not because we went backwards, it was because everybody else invested and did a lot of catching up.”
Universities cannot hope to compete with the vast computing resources available to Google and other big tech firms, their massive datasets to feed AI models, or the salaries they can offer.
Dame Wendy Hall, a professor of computer science at the University of Southampton and a member of the UN’s advisory body on AI, says the priority for the UK must be to protect its “academic legacy” in the technology.
“It is so important we keep our foot on the pedal of funding AI research in our universities. This is where future generations of AI technologies will come from and we need the high-level skills to support our growing AI industry” she says. “Other countries are deeply envious. It takes 20 years or more to grow a research star like Hassabis. They don’t just fall out of the trees.”
Sahani believes more centres like the Gatsby unit, where researchers can focus purely on their research, and a willingness among funders to pick winners and back them, will help the UK in the race ahead. Calder says tight relationships between universities and tech firms are essential for both to flourish, while the UK should make better use of its sovereign assets, such as NHS health data. “We need to look at the resources we have,” she says.
Are more Nobels on the horizon? That will come down to individuals as well as the working environments around them. “What stands out about Geoff is his creativity and insatiable curiosity. He goes after all sorts of different problems,” says Sahani. “With Demis, what was evident when he was here was his dynamism. He had sense there were great things to be built and he was going to go after them.”

My partner wants more sex and more enthusiasm from me – Ask Philippa

Perhaps in trying to meet his needs, you have lost sight of your ownPhilippa PerrySun 13 Oct 2024 01.00 EDTShareThe question My partner a

Perhaps in trying to meet his needs, you have lost sight of your own
Philippa PerryPhilippa PerrySun 13 Oct 2024 01.00 EDTShareThe question My partner and I have been together for more than 15 years, and we have children. We share a great emotional connection, but sex has always been a sticking point. I have a lower sex drive; I enjoy thinking about sex as well as masturbating, and I have no difficulty reaching climax, I’m just frequently underwhelmed by sex with my partner. He, on the other hand, says that he feels desire for me and would like to have sex more often. However, he also regularly mentions he finds sex with me routine or disappointing and he would like me to act more enthusiastically. He feels rejected.
Recently, we’ve tried to address it by scheduling date nights, so he doesn’t have to worry about rejection and I don’t have to worry about feeling pressured on other nights – although he has made advances on non-date nights, which have contributed to the point I’ve now reached where I can no longer enjoy even non-sexual intimacy. I love him deeply, but I don’t know how to get out of this impasse. We’ve tried therapy and he’s said that talking didn’t seem to change things, and doesn’t want to rehash old conversations that don’t help. I’ve written a letter to him and it helped a little, at least it led to us adopting the scheduling system. But it’s too weird to keep writing to someone you live with.
Philippa’s answer It sounds like the impasse may be that he doesn’t want to talk and you don’t want to have sex. And that if he could talk and listen and understand what page you are on, you might not be so averse to sex and, similarly, if he had all the sex he wanted, he might feel secure enough to talk. This is quite often where couples get stuck.
True and lasting love isn’t all about the meeting of physical desires so much as it is about a profound understanding of each other’s vulnerabilities and an acceptance of the imperfections that come with them. Maybe he finds it makes him feel too vulnerable to have conversations about this face to face, so writing to him like you have done is a way forward, weird or not.
It sounds like the impasse may be that he doesn’t want to talk, and you don’t want to have sexSexuality, in its mysterious and elusive nature, is not just about physical pleasure but is tied to our emotional landscape, to the unspoken and often unrecognised layers of our being. You mention a lower sex drive, but also a vibrant inner life where you enjoy thinking about sex, and masturbating. This suggests the issue may not lie in a waning of your sexuality, but in how it has been shaped by the dynamic between you and your partner. Has the expectation that you will be desirous and enthusiastic worn you down? Have you tried to meet his needs and in doing so perhaps started to lose sight of your own? Now, your body is rebelling.
In The Dance of Intimacy, Harriet Lerner describes the dynamic where one partner chases while the other retreats and then the roles reverse as a common and complex pattern in relationships. This “pursuer-distancer” cycle is a way both partners manage anxiety and emotional distance. I see you pursuing him, wanting a deeper emotional connection through talking and he runs away. He then pursues you, wanting the connection through sex, which makes you want to run away.
When one partner chases, they may be seeking closeness, reassurance or connection, often driven by a fear of abandonment or emotional disconnection. The partner who retreats, on the other hand, might be feeling overwhelmed, which triggers their need for space or emotional distance. This retreat then increases the anxiety of the pursuer, causing them to chase more intensely which, in turn, makes the other partner retreat even further.
This may account for you not tolerating non-sexual touching now. When the roles reverse, the one who was initially distancing may now feel the need for connection, perhaps out of fear of losing the relationship, while the original pursuer may become overwhelmed by the sudden closeness and feel the need for distance. Him not wanting to have any more conversations about it may be his way of displaying this.
This push-pull dynamic often reflects deeper fears and unmet needs, which are being expressed through behaviour rather than being directly communicated. Instead of acting out of fear or anxiety, try to communicate directly. For example, if you’re feeling distant and need space, explain it’s not about rejecting him but about taking care of your own emotional wellbeing. The tendency is for us to take for granted the meanings we automatically assign to our partner’s actions or inactions, but these meanings need unpacking. The key to stopping this dance is for both partners to recognise the cycle and intentionally step out of it. And that, I’m sorry for his sake to have to say, means more conversation, which may be easier with an experienced couple’s therapist (cosrt.org.uk).
Every week Philippa Perry addresses a personal problem sent in by a reader. If you would like advice from Philippa, please send your problem to [email protected]. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions

Loud Whispers_1

Allen Onyema: Peace No Longer at EaseThis one is no longer Air Peace o. The air is troubled. During the past week, reports filled the ai

Allen Onyema: Peace No Longer at Ease
This one is no longer Air Peace o. The air is troubled. During the past week, reports filled the airwaves on the expanded indictment of my hard-working brother and his finance person on charges of money laundering and obstruction of justice. They have swiftly refuted it, maintained their innocence and have told us that their lawyers are fighting it and that they are very sure that they will come out innocent.
Whoever his communication experts are, they have run out of ideas. I swear, has the team not heard of going below the radar for now?
Another amusing fact is that some people are now adding ethnic sentiments to it. I have heard comments such as because he is Igbo and also “fighting oyibo on the London route na him make dem one finish our brother.”
Mbok, I cannot even put mouth on this. The sad thing is that one of the proponents of the ethnic sentiment is a PhD holder and a well-travelled individual. By the time he finished speaking, I had cholera. I kid you not. I rushed to the toilet to stool. Kai, ma basi, what an eruditely stupid submission.
My brother Allen, my advice is for you to mortgage at least four of your planes and get the very best legal support in the world – I suggest the firm that represented OJ Simpson and even though the man don die, he still get staff because they know how to handle a very bad case. Explore diplomatic channels at the highest level and also engage influential international lobbyists because if your “Igbo” brothers distract you, we may be spending some time with P.Diddy.
Mbok, fight this with sense. We are praying for you. Thank you.
Godswill Akpabio: Beware of Ides of March
Julius Ceaser was warned to beware the Ides of March, for my brother, na ides of all the months in the year.
We have seen reports suggesting a posible movement against him by his colleagues. Though he has come out to refute it in a statement and has restated his committment to the Senate and to Nigeria, it is not yet over.
As my former school principal, Mr. DB Ajayi, use to say, a sinner runneth when no man pursueth. Akpabio is deeply unpopular but at the same time fun to have as Senate President.
Me as a person, I love the gaffes associated with him which makes me laugh and which I consider a small distraction from the vagaries of life in today’s Nigeria.
His unpopularity I must say on the other hand stems from his almost insensitive outlook towards the plight of the average Nigerian and his inability to provide a strong bulwark against a ‘runaway’ executive arm of government.
So do you think, I support the removal of Akpabio as Senate President? The answer is No ooo. For the simple reason that if you take a cursory look at that hall, you will understand my position. There is no other uncommon senator in that hall.. One who will understabd the strategic importance of eating while we are protesting.
How many of them can fill a stadium endorsing him ‘life’ senator and in attendance the sitting governor from another party?
Mbok, they should leave our Akpabio for us o. He is the only one from Akwa Ibom that we have o.
Martins Otse: Very Dark Problem
For me, this was a very dark person. You got hold of a private conversation, forgetting the illegality of recording someone without his consent, and released it with full commentary, and some yeye lawyers were telling me that it is not defamation.
Me that the closest I have gone near Law school is standing by the bus stop opposite the place on Victoria Island, siddon here in Shomolu knows that it was defamation with capital letters.
I did not do this much when Chief Afe Babalola slammed me with a letter of criminal defamation. I rushed to Ekiti, carried all the big juju men I know from Ekiti to go and prostate, and even offered to have a haircut.
They even gave you time to apologise and retract and you were still playing to the gallery, only to go to the National Assembly after the deadline had been over to apologise. Mbok, they have slammed you with a judgment and I am here laughing.
Another source of worry that I am having here is the kind of lawyers that we are churning out these days. Some of these lawyers no really get sense o. Come and see the way they were even arguing with me all over the place when it was very clear that this very dark person was in the wrong.
Now judgment has come and the young man is left alone to his fate. I really hope his many followers will not desert him now especially as it is looking like there is monetary liability attached to the judgment. A very dark place to be. Na wa.
The Falanas, Please Leave Bobrisky Alone
The Falanas are beginning to look like one major reality show. The elder patriarch with a strong and rich pedigree in advocacy, human rights and power play; the handsome and very successful son who is a celebrity rapper and part-time social crusader, and the beautiful daughter who I am just seeing and falling in love with. Mbok, the lady is beautiful. I didn’t know that she even existed let alone her flawless beauty and elocution, and then the Mummy who is also a SAN but has remained quiet in all of this drama.
The way they are going, MultiChoice will start to consider using them to replace their weak Big Brother Naija show.
My major push to the Falanas is to kindly leave Bobrisky out of this round. The guy/babe has suffered enough, you can see that his/her makeup is falling off from worry.
The man was “jejely” giving his friend private “fabu” in my estimation. People say all sorts privately to either cajole them into bed or make them vote for them in the Edo election or make them support Wike over Fubara.
Maybe that was what Bob was doing to his friend in a very private conversation and enemies within leaked the thing to basket mouth who rushed to publish without reaching out to you for your position, without reaching out to Bob for confirmation, without any investigation – basic tenets of journalism – now you are chasing the “fabulist.”
If it is that one, by the time you check my own private conversations on this matter,na firing squad you will order for me.
So, my great friends, the Falanas, Bob is not your man, he has kuku said it was not him on the recording and that you should go and meet the man who released it to tell you who was on that thing. How can he apologise for something he claims not to know? In fact, he can even say he was at the salon washing his hair at the time of the recording.
Let us face this very dark fiend because he brought it to the public.
Nigerians had better reward me with an honorary Law degree with the way I am going o. It looks like I have more sense than some lawyers. I have more sense than Samson, the lawyer from Mushin who called me one Saturday and spoke to me for over one hour on the matter and by the time he finished, if I had seen the Oga of Law School, I for slap am for allowing such a person to pass through his school.
Troost Ekong: That was a Kidnap
As I watched the videos coming out of the Libyan situation with our football team, the only thing that came to my mind was that this was a hostage situation. I don’t know why people are not saying it for what it was- a true hostage situation.
Or how do you explain dropping us in a nondescript airport, no food or water, no communication with officials, refusal to allow them to go near the exit door, verbal abuse as reported – my people, the only thing missing na request for ransom money.
Maybe they have seen how broke we are and must have felt that these ones cannot pay o. But they failed to realise that we have Seyi. Seyi Tinubu would have paid anything to get our boys out.
For me, I think Nigeria should make a formal report to the International Court of Justice at the Hague for kidnap, assault and trauma. This one is no longer football; this one was terrorism by other means.
Saying that they too went through the same ordeal and didn’t complain is crap. What they went through in Nigeria was caused by them.
Nigeria should go for their expulsion and if there is any other punishment higher than that, we push for it. This was criminal. Thank you.
Indermit Gill, It’s Not Your Fault
This World Bank person, carrying his shaggy beard and looking very unkempt, opened his mouth to say that we must stay the course for another 15 years in this hardship. Mbok, this his lecture, he should have come to give it in Shomolu and after, we ask him to walk to his car alone and through the crowd then he will know just how Nigerians feel about his talk and his “paddy” government.
So, in one year, fuel has moved from where it was to where it is now, a crate of eggs has moved from where it was to where it is now, per hour hotel rooms have moved from where it was to where it is now and this one is saying 15 years by which time we would have all turned into the ghosts who danced for Michael Jackson in his Thriller video.
These are the kinds of people who are advising this government, making them impervious to the cries and sufferings of the people. People are dying and yet the screws keep tightening and this “mulla” is saying that we should endure not for 15 months but 15 years.
Mbok, what kind of “mumu” talk is that na. Is he saying there can be no alternative? Didn’t Obasanjo ask Babangida for a human face to his SAP? It appears this person and his friends in government have no real humanity, otherwise, this will not be happening, I tell you. Fifteen years ko, 15 years ni. Mshewwww.
 It Wasn’t Lucky Aiyedatiwa
I should not be laughing but could not help it when I saw reports that suggested that it was the Ondo State Governor who was in the clip.
I had watched the clip and saw something else- the wickedness of a woman. The Baba was walking away and the woman suddenly grabbed the man’s shirt and started screaming that he had beaten her. You see what men suffer at the hands of these kinds of women. If there was no video footage, that is how we would have lost another man.
But the Ondo opposition people saw something else in the footage- an opportunity for mischief. They said, oh that was Lucky feeling very unlucky in a tryst, turning Ondo State Government officials into plastic surgeons.
Come and see how they took the two faces and dissected them – Lucky has no gap teeth, the man has. Lucky has high cheekbones; the man has low cheekbones. The man skin dry, Lucky own wet. The man beard is slim, Lucky own wide.
Long and short, it wasn’t him. Na wa.
Rufai Oseni: A Thorn in Which Flesh?
This one will be thinking he is a thorn in the flesh. He will be sitting down in the studio and be postulating like say na him get Nigeria. Ohhh Tinubu’s eyes are too large, Wike looks scrawny, El-Rufai cannot speak English; he will be shouting on the set and mumu people will be hailing him.
Rufai used to be my friend but now I don’t like him again, he is now very slim. What you people do not know is that Rufai used to be very big- as in fat. His potbelly was out of this world and now that he has lost weight he will be yabbing everybody.
I think that Rufai is not any thorn in anybody’s flesh, I can tell you that. He is but a pimple that thinks he is a full-grown boil and it is as a result of this that I challenge him to a debate on any issue of his choice to naked him once and for all.
See, it is not even me that will debate him, it is that tall Mulatto spokesman, the one that just resigned abi sacked, that is the one that will give him fire for fire.
My dislike for Rufai and what he stands for is so palpable that this December, at the Muson I will reveal all of his secrets so that his enemies can come and catch him. Should I release one now? Oya take this – Rufai does not take an evening bath, he goes to sleep sweaty and in the nude. There you go, that is just one and I have over 100. This December, I will strip Rufai naked and the whole world will see what he truly is – a very short dark man. Kai.
Sunday Igboho: Tourist in Transit
What was that? Going to seek whatever at No 10 Downing Street? I don’t believe that that was the real Downing Street o. My friend, Yemi Edun, has that same door and fence in his office in that same London. Yes, I have been there before and I also took pictures and if nobody tells you, you will think it is the real Number 10.
So that is what I am telling myself or how else can you explain such an “idiotic” move of going to submit whatever to the British Government? I don’t understand. Is the British Government INEC or what?
My people, let us just assume that it was Yemi Edun’s office he went to and not the real Number 10 so we fit rest. Thank you.
Herbert Wigwe: Leave Him Be Please
My attention was drawn to one lazy man’s post on social media during the week. Wearing a red cap and looking like “Zoro,” the sword man, he alleged all sorts of things including the “forgetting of Herbert’s legacy in the fifteen achievements of Access Bank since his demise.”
Immediately I saw it, I rushed to the comment section to have a feel of what Nigerians thought about this and very unusually over 80% of comments were against him and rightly so.
People just wake up in the morning and because the cost of eggs is now very prohibitive and out of hunger, just pull things from the sky to cause confusion and anarchy just for the fun of it.
The man said he was Herbert’s private media person, whatever that means abeg.
As we were struggling with that one, the next thing was news circulating that Pastor Wigwe, Herbert’s 90-year-old father was taking his legacy custodians to court asking for 20% of his assets.
I have also seen a report allegedly issued by the old man falsifying the other report and asking to be left alone.
I think very strongly that the family and those very close to them be left alone to handle this massive loss which I think they are still struggling with.
Imagine losing a man, his wife and his son in one day – an ironical and perfect culling – and a few months later, red-capped zombies are all over the media trying to stir needless controversy.
Who the hell are you to want to fight for his legacy even if the legacy is under threat? On what grounds are you standing and on what information are you riding on? Funny.
My talks within the core critical circle of Herbert’s family and associates show that nothing can be further from the truth. In fact, I reported here last week that his daughter, Tochi, had just been appointed to the board of the HOW Foundation, so what are we talking about?
Please let Herbert’s genuine friends be left alone to cry our cry ooo. This is still very very very painful. Let us cry our tears.

Ukraine war briefing- Zelenskyy says North Korea providing personnel to Russia’s army

Increasing alliance between Russia and North Korea goes beyond transferring weapons, Ukraine leader says;

Increasing alliance between Russia and North Korea goes beyond transferring weapons, Ukraine leader says; Belarusian president says Putin’s nuclear threat will ‘cool the ardour’ of its western adversaries. What we know on day 964
See all our Russia-Ukraine war coverageGuardian staff and agenciesSun 13 Oct 2024 20.27 EDTLast modified on Tue 15 Oct 2024 05.43 EDTShare Volodymyr Zelenskyy accused North Korea on Sunday of sending military personnel to Russia’s army and once again appealed for more support to prevent “a bigger war”. “We see an increasing alliance between Russia and regimes like in North Korea,” Zelenskyy said in his nightly video address. “It is no longer just about transferring weapons. It is actually about the transfer of people from North Korea to the occupier’s military forces.” He added: “It is obvious that under such conditions our relationship with our partners needs to evolve. The front line needs more support. We are talking about more long-range capabilities for Ukraine and more sustained supplies for our forces rather than a simple list of military hardware.” Last week, South Korea’s defence minister, Kim Yong-hyun, said “there was a high possibility” North Korea could deploy troops to help Russia in the war with Ukraine. Kim also told a parliamentary hearing that news reports of North Korean military officers having been killed in a Ukrainian strike on territory controlled by Russian forces were likely to be true.
Joe Biden will visit Germany this week, government sources in Berlin said. German media said the US president would meet the chancellor, Olaf Scholz, and the president, Frank-Walter Steinmeier, for talks in Berlin on Friday expected to cover Ukraine and the Middle East. Biden’s visit was originally slated to last four days but Hurricane Milton forced it to be delayed, and causing Zelenskyy to embark on tour of European capitals to make the case for their enduring support.
Changes announced by Russia to its nuclear weapons policy were long overdue and will probably “cool the ardour” of its western enemies, Belarusian leader Alexander Lukashenko said in an interview released on Sunday. Lukashenko, a close ally of Vladimir Putin, said “hotheads” in the west had already heard the nuclear signals being sent by Moscow even before the Kremlin leader announced the changes last month. Putin said last month that Russia was extending the list of scenarios that could prompt it to consider launching a nuclear weapon. He said Moscow would consider any assault on it supported by a nuclear power to be a joint attack.
Ukraine’s human rights ombudsman has urged international organisations to respond to a claim that several Ukrainian prisoners of war were executed in Russia’s Kursk region where Kyiv had launched an incursion in August. Dmytro Lubinets said on Telegram that he sent letters to the United Nations and the International Committee of the Red Cross regarding the claim. Ukrainian battlefield analysis site DeepState which is close to Ukraine’s defence ministry said on Sunday that Russian troops shot and killed nine Ukrainian “drone operators and contractors” on 10 October after they had surrendered. Earlier this month, Ukraine’s Prosecutor-General’s Office said Russian troops had killed 16 captured Ukrainian soldiers in the partially occupied Donetsk region.
Russian glide bombs have struck a “concentration” of Ukrainian troops near the border of Russia’s western Kursk region, the Russian defence ministry said on Sunday. It said the attack was directed against “a strongpoint and concentration of Ukrainian Armed Forces personnel”, and the bombs were delivered by a Russian Su-34 warplane. Ukraine caught Moscow by surprise on 6 August by bursting across the border into the Kursk region, in the first invasion of Russian sovereign territory since the second world war. Russia has been trying for more than two months to eject the Ukrainian forces.
Russia’s defence ministry said on Sunday that its forces had taken control of the village of Mykhailivka in eastern Ukraine, where they have been advancing towards the important logistics hub of Pokrovsk. The Ukrainian military said in its daily report that its troops repelled 36 Russian assaults in the Pokrovsk area, including near Mykhailivka.
Russia launched 68 drones and four missiles targeting Ukrainian territory overnight, Ukraine’s air force said on Sunday. Two Iskander-M ballistic missiles struck Poltava and Odesa regions and two Kh-59 guided air missiles targeted the Chernihiv and Sumy regions, the air forces said on the Telegram messaging app. Ukraine’s air defence units destroyed 31 of the drones, while 36 were unaccounted for, most likely intercepted by Ukraine’s electronic warfare, the air force said. The remaining drone was still in the air, it said.
Russia’s air defence units destroyed 13 Ukrainian drones overnight over three regions bordering Ukraine, Russia’s defence ministry said on Sunday. Six drones each were downed over the Belgorod and Kursk region, the ministry said on the Telegram messaging app. One drone was destroyed over the Bryansk region.