Cecilia Zhao has been volunteering at a palliative care center in Toronto, Canada, every two weeks for nearly a year now. Despite having a full-time job and two young children at home, Cecilia sees her time at the center as a profoundly enriching experience, one that allows her to accompany residents through the final stages of their lives. “It may seem dark and draining,” she reflects, “but it’s actually a nurturing process that has given me many enlightening moments.”
Over the past few years, Cecilia has lost several elderly family members, pushing her to contemplate how to approach death in a more meaningful way. Among those losses were two relatives who battled cancer. One received aggressive treatment but eventually slipped away without being mentioned by family afterward; the other’s wishes were honored, offering a more comfortable and even celebratory farewell, allowing family members to reminisce joyfully about their time together. This juxtaposition sparked Cecilia’s desire to understand the workings of a palliative care center.
After undergoing training, she became a “Resident and Family Support” volunteer at the local center last August, where she provides emotional support and companionship to residents and their families. The experience has surprisingly nourished her spirit in return. She recalls meeting a resident who loved to chat and share her observations about the flowers and trees outside the window. It wasn’t until a nurse entered the room that Cecilia realized this resident was unable to move from the neck down. “She said, ‘In the past, my time was always about others. Now, my time is all mine. I can lie here and quietly appreciate everything outside.’ This was a wake-up call for me—where I focus my attention is a choice I can make.”
Cecilia’s children, an eight-year-old and a soon-to-be-four-year-old, have also been impacted by her volunteering experience. Inspired by the residents, she reevaluated how she reacts when her kids get on her nerves. “Every time I come home from the center, I’m reminded that I can choose to focus on what bothers me about them or on how adorable they are. It’s all about doing the inner work to find happiness in life,” she says, reflecting on her experiences.
People often associate palliative care centers with sadness and darkness, but Cecilia offers a different perspective. While it’s true that residents come and go quickly—80% turnover in just two weeks—she has witnessed many moments filled with peace and love. She describes how families have lovingly decorated rooms for their loved ones during holidays or organized special music events to honor them. One of the most memorable experiences for Cecilia was a thirty-something cancer patient who used her last bits of energy to cherish her children. “She would hold off on pain medication just to have a half-hour of playtime with them, focusing on being present in her best state possible. That deeply moved me.”
Despite her bi-weekly volunteer commitment, Cecilia’s schedule is incredibly packed. Alongside her full-time role as an audit accountant, she juggles caring for her young children, participates in various charitable activities, plays the guzheng, takes pole dancing lessons, and organizes a Chinese book club. She laughs at the inquiry about her time management skills. “I’ve finally found my life’s purpose in the past couple of years, which has clarified why I felt so drained before. Working in audit at a big company was exhausting, and when my children were born, I felt even more stressed and anxious, prompting me to slow down and reflect on my life.” She discovered that engaging in meaningful interactions at work was a source of nourishment, so she shifted to the training department for a better work-life balance, allowing her to pursue activities that recharge her energy—like volunteering at the palliative care center.
“I’ve come to understand that my life goal is to inspire growth, both for others and for myself. Gradually, I’ve developed my own energy management manual; it’s more crucial than time management. With every depleting task, I make sure to add something that replenishes my energy. This approach helps me control my energy levels throughout the day.”
Now, another avenue Cecilia has found for nourishing herself and others is through life coaching. She shares her insights and experiences with her clients, offering advice on work-related issues and conflicts in intimate relationships. Those interested in learning more about Cecilia can reach out via her website at https://www.ceciliazhaocoaching.com/.
